Infidelity is a very misunderstood experience between two people.
Though one person (the infidel) in the relationship seems to be the problem, it usually stems from a hidden dynamic in that relationship with the other. Almost unconsciously this person finds themselves doing things, as if in a mindless state. Once awoken to the drastic action, they are mortified at what they have done, but no one believes them.
I often tell my clients that we are all mostly conducting our normal days actually run by our unconscious minds. Our beliefs, values and life experiences all add up to our perception of reality and the choices we make. Naturally no two realities can be the same, due to the different life experiences we all have from one another.
So often the one who is in the role as the infidel, is unconsciously playing out erroneous behaviours that often stem from a gap or dysfunction in the relationship that both had not realised fully. I also say it takes 2 to make the tango.. offering both people the chance to explore what the missing ingredient was to their breakdown.
It can be so illuminating to realise what was previously missing in their relationship. This can be corrected with a new strategy going forward which often builds genuine trust between the two with a new understanding of how they both unconsciously contributed to the breakdown. 